5 Important Lessons I’ve Learned from Losing

Business is not an easy road to go down.  It’s a test of endurance that can stretch even the most tenacious person far beyond their emotional limits.  I normally don’t get this personal in my posts but I will make an exception because I believe I’ve learned a lot from losing everything.  When I was in my 30s, I had become very successful owning and operating a large company.  Unfortunately, after achieving tremendous success, I lost the business due to political corruption.  I lost millions and had no idea how difficult the next few years would be for me, but had no choice other than to endure them.

Going from being a millionaire to being broke is enough to bring anyone to the brink of insanity.  I’ve learned a lot about business, life and the world in general from my experience and for as difficult as it was, I do believe it has made me a better and smarter person.  The following is what I’ve learned from losing it all after being at the top.  Don’t worry, I won’t smother you with hokey clichés like, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “everything happens for a reason.”  Just remember that if you haven’t lost big yet, you very well may in the future.

1.    Everyone Loses at Some Point

The magnitude in which people lose may vary from person-to-person, but there’s no doubt that everyone suffers loss, especially in business.  You could lose a big account, an important client, a valuable employee or your whole business.  When encountering this type of loss, it’s natural to think that your situation is unique and that you’re the unluckiest person alive. 

There have been tremendously successful people who have fallen flat on their faces.   Just to prove my point that no one is impervious to losing, the following people have filed for bankruptcy: 50 Cent, Marvin Gaye, Kim Basinger, Meat Loaf, Cyndi Lauper, MC Hammer, Francis Ford Coppola, Larry King, Mike Tyson, Abraham Lincoln, PT Barnum, Toni Braxton, Buffalo Bill, Mark Twain, Natalie Cole, Gary Coleman, David Crosby, Walt Disney, Henry Ford, Andy Gibb, Ulysses S. Grant, Paulo Gucci, Corey Haim, Dorothy Hamill, HJ Heinz, Milton Hershey, LaToya Jackson, Jerry Lee Lewis, Willie Nelson, Wayne Newton, Ted Nugent, Tom Petty, Rembrandt, Burt Reynolds, Mickey Rooney, Run DMC, Anna Nicole Smith, Nikola Tesla, Donald Trump, Dionne Warwick, Debbie Reynolds, Sinbad, JC Penney, Sherman Hemsley, Gary Busey, Nicolas Cage, Thomas Jefferson, William Durant, William Fox, Oscar Wilde, Red Foxx, Morton Downey, Jr., Gloria Vanderbilt, Mick Fleetwood, George Forman, Bob Guccione, etc.

2.    You Find Out Who Your True Friends Are

If there’s anything that I’ve learned about people, it’s that everyone loves to see the guy at the top come crumbling down.  When your entire world is imploding around you, there may be some people who will show you sincere and genuine support.  However, beware of the people who actually seem happy.  These are people who were jealous of you because of your success and are now glad to see you lose it.  It may not be as obvious as them pointing their finger at you and laughing but their subtle jabs will let you know that they were never truly your friend.  You might not have noticed that these people didn’t clap when you succeeded but it will become more apparent to you when they seem to gloat over your misfortune.  Even employees and business associates will seem out to harm you, despite you having helped them in the past.  It’s a bitch slap of truth but important to know who is, and who is not, really on your side.

3.    You Can’t Get Something Clean Without Getting Something Dirty

Have you ever seen what a mop looks like after you’re done cleaning the floor?  The floor may be clean but your mop is disgusting.  Business gets messy sometimes and when you lose, it’s possible that other people around you lose out too, just by association.  Guilt is a useless emotion so don’t let it weigh you down.  The fear of guilt may prevent us from doing something bad or stupid but the actual act of feeling guilty is unproductive.  Do what you have to do in order to get yourself out of the mess.

4.    Humility is a Virtue

Bill Gates once said that success is a lousy teacher because it seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.  When you’re winning, it’s easy to have a false sense of immortality.  When I was at the height of my career, I most definitely had a cavalier approach to doing business.  This way of thinking can lead to the demise of even the most skilled executives.  Sometimes you need to lose, and lose hard before you can really start to become proficient at winning.

5.    From Struggle Comes Strength

One of the hardest things to do when you’re experiencing loss is to keep your psyche in check.  At times you may feel depressed, resentful, angry, anxious, etc.  As a business person, I have failed many times.  I’ve made bad decisions and I’ve also had failure imposed upon me by circumstances that were beyond my control.  As a young businessman, I often lost my temper.  I’ve taken my anger out on my printer, briefcase, phone and other inanimate objects.  Frustration is a typical human reaction when things aren’t going right.  The more problems a person encounters, the closer they get to the realization that such is life.  This is why children are so dependent upon adults.

Sometimes, in order for an individual to be able to survive the intensities that business has to offer, they must first endure their share of struggles along the way.  Dealing with business problems and workplace stress is like building a muscle.  The more you’ve developed this muscle, the stronger you become.  Everyone has a different threshold for stress.  I believe this threshold can be pushed over time.  This is why some people have chosen to kill themselves after losing their wealth and others have decided to start over.  Don’t dread failure.  Use it to sharpen your axe.